Began and ended with rhymes

Tip for the day: get the walking out of the way!

It's Friday, I'm on a vacation from work and at the beginning of a glorious 4-day weekend. The weather looks to be fabulous, I live near a beautiful village with a canal running through it, and I don't have any serious responsibilities until Monday morning. So I can lie around and do nothing, right?

Wrong!

My new mindset is that I need to do something healthy early in the day, to set the tone. Today I met a friend and walked for 45 minutes, Half the walking time was to a canal-side diner, where we stopped for an English muffin and iced coffee, then the other half of the walking time was going back to my car. It felt great! Over the years, I've begun to take to heart that old saying, "21 days makes a habit." It has helped me to get rid of bad habits and incorporate good ones into my life. Now it's getting me out there walking. At this point, I don't feel comfortable missing walking on any given day.

Now I am doing for myself what I promised I'd do today: sit and catch up on my reading. I am rewarding myself for working hard over the past two months, preparing for and executing University Commencement activities.

In the past, I've always rewarded myself with a gooey treat from Starbucks and a venti-sized coffee that was more like liquid candy than coffee. Nothing wrong with either of those things, you understand. Starbucks is still one of my fave places. But I am starting to rethink the ways in which I reward myself. Food isn't really an ideal reward, unless it's healthy food. Unfortunately, I'm not yet at the point where I view healthy food as a reward (although I believe in my heart that I WILL get there :) , so I'm trying to think of non-food kudos to give myself. And allowing myself the luxury of 5+ hours of reading (interrupted only by updating my blog or checking out the occasional Facebook update) is an absolute delight, and something I rarely ever get these days, what with work, chores, church activities, and taking care of my four kitties.

I even put off my grocery shopping until tomorrow. Even though I'm genuinely excited about buying, cutting up, mixing in a salad and eating fresh fruit, I'm going to enjoy my day of well-earned downtime. I may not get 10,000 steps in today, but then again, I may, as I'm already over 5,000, thanks to that earlier walk. Sometimes it's ok to pamper yourself.

Tomorrow? Chores await. Today? Life is great!

My, how time flies...

It's Thursday, May 27. Let's see, I haven't blogged since... oh, May 13? Wow, time has flown by. Well, that's Commencement for you. They like to keep me very busy here. Fortunately, keeping busy keeps my mind off other things, like my progress towards my fitness goals. Actually, some of the progress has been great! And some, not so much.

Here's how my goal of 10,000 steps/day has fared, so far:

Week 1: 8143.9
Week 2: 6899.7
Week 3: 10767.3
Week 4, to date: 11,367.5

Yes, friends. My AVERAGE for 1.5 weeks has been OVER 10,000 steps/day. Isn't that fabulous? I think it's because I'm wearing this pedometer daily and have sworn to be faithful in reporting my steps. I fear my own punishment of me, should I fail, lie, cheat, steal, litter, gossip, etc. So I'm diligently stepping up. Even though due to the heat in Rochester, I am sweating in places I didn't know could sweat. (Bah-dum-bum.)

**ALERT: Side note** I'm listening to Pandora.com and have programmed it to play "Carpenters-like music." (So I'm an old fart; so sue me.) The song on playing is "Livin' On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Question: in what universe is Bon Jovi "like" The Carpenters? ** We now return to Donna's regularly scheduled blathering.**

So, I'm sure you are all waiting with bated breath (Yes, it's "bated," not "baited;" I looked it up. "Baited breath" would be, like, worms. Gross.) to see how I'm doing on my fruits and veggies. Well, I'm not doing so hot. Yes, I'm getting them in. No, I'm not getting enough of them in. Unfortunately, I'm not prone to punishing myself for lack of food discipline. It's my guilty pleasure.

Here's my "cups" goal of 5/day update:

Week 1: 3.21 cups (off to a decent start.... hey, that's probably more than I've gotten in per day my whole life!
Week 2: 2.29 (boo, hiss, throw the bum out!)
Week 3: 2.64 (better, but not by much)
Week 4, to date: 3.13 (almost back to where I started. This is progress?)

My overall averages so far are:
Steps: 9294.6 (this is because I sucked wind in the beginning)
Cups: 2.82

This is an 8-week competition, and we're almost at the half-way mark. Ok, so I'd better step it up. OMG I just realized... the JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge is, like NEXT WEEK!!! Ummm.... keep walking, D. Keep walking.

I have a 4-day weekend, starting at the end of the day today. In the past, I would have spent the long weekend lying around, reading, eating and just generally being a blob (albeit a happy one). NOw, it would seem, I no longer have that luxury. Ah, the curse of getting older.

I promised myself one day of immersing myself in reading. That day will be tomorrow. I'll get my steps in, but NO chores. I've earned a day of respite. Saturday through Monday are going to be for cleaning the gutters, washing the exterior of the house, cleaning inside, and hopefully a couple of nice long bike rides.

Food-wise, I'm going to buy some fresh fruit and make a salad, and maybe grill some veggies on a kebab. Mmmm, doesn't that sound good? Ok, I've never actually DONE that, but I do have kebabs. How hard could it be? (image in brain: Eddie Murphy comedy sketch about huge flames coming out of grill and Dad rolling around on ground to put out fire on his clothing because Uncle insisted on using lighter fluid. "Now THAT'S a FIRE! Just roll him on the ground, he'll be all right.") Beyond that, I don't know. I'm taking suggestions for quick and easy holiday weekend meal ideas that will help me strive for five. I promise to let you know how your ideas turn out.

Happy stepping and fiving, everyone!

Whose bright idea was this, anyway?

"Ok, whose bright idea was this, to start a blog the week before the busiest week of the academic year?" ...." Um... yours, Donna?" "Oh, yeah. Arrgghh...."

Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't posted in almost a week. It's been ca-raaaaay-zeee! And so have my dietary habits. I've been going, going, going nonstop between Friday and today. And it ain't over yet. The proverbial fat lady sings this Sunday at our school's diploma ceremony at the U of R. (No, it's NOT ME! I can sing, though....) Once that's over with, I am gonna go home and crash. And start again Monday.

My steps during this time have averaged somewhere around 6000/day. And how many fruits and vegetables have I managed to consume? AH-HAHAHAHAHA..... c'mon. Seriously! It's been very difficult for me to keep on track with my plan when life has been this jam-packed. Here are a couple of things that will help me, though: I know that it takes 21 days to establish a habit; I need to allow more time for success to happen. Also, I know myself at this point in my life. I'm not about to give up just because the going right now is tough. In that past, yeah, I would've given up by now. I used to get discouraged much quicker than this.

You may have noticed the font has changed. It has to do with busy-ness and laziness. This is the default font for Blogspot. I usually change it, but I'm in a hurry. Hey, maybe next time I will post in "crazy, deranged woman font." What? There's no such font? Awww, too bad. That would be cool.

Ok, I have to get to finishing some of these half-completed jobs for Commencement weekend. I wish you all lots of happy steps and cups! Chat L8R!

It's my bloggy and I'll whine if I want to!

Someone asked me, "Are you writing positive stuff in your blog or negative?" I quipped, "It's my bloggy and I'll whine if I want to!"

Go ahead.... groan if you want to, groan if you want to....

Soooo. Does a frozen custard count as a fruit? No? Really? Crap.

Seriously, I have bad news and good news. The bad news? Wednesday I didn't quite make it across the finish line. I was under goal in all areas.... but I DID have a nice kiddie cone of frozen custard (peanut butter cup flavor - yum!), courtesy of Netsin's Ice Cream. Great place, that. And in my defense, it was starting to rain out and I was afraid I would melt. And my little dog, too. Cackle. No, I don't really have a dog. C'mon, lighten up, Francis.

The good news? Thursday was the first day that I hit both my steps and cups goals. Walked 11,746 steps and ate/drank 5.5 cups of fruits and veggies! Nice. But, first...

Got home last night and looked at my pedometer and ... WOO HOO! It read 89,680 steps! I am a stepping GODDESS! Muahahahahaha.... then I realized I had the thing upside down. Damn reversible numbers. No wonder my blood pressure is high. What? It's not high because of that, it's because I'm overweight? Liar! Excuse me while I take a boat ride down De Nial.

So I had to go back out for a short walk. But I did manage to get my numbers in.

Yesterday I also signed up on www.SparkPeople.com. Thanks to Marty for showing me how it works, and to Amanda for reminding me to get off my butt and start using it! It's a fabulous website where you can enter what you eat and it calculates the calories, carbs, fats and proteins. It also tells you if you're not getting enough potassium and all those other great minerals. You can also track your fitness regime. I'm only tracking my steps. I know myself. If I tried to set up an ambitious fitness regime, I'd work the plan for a day, then people would find me curled up in a ball in the corner, whimpering, thumb in mouth, Hershey Kisses wrappers strewn all around me.

Anyway, if interested, my SparkPeople name is Donnamarieski. I created a personal page and a blog there, too, but it's a mini-blog, only snippets out of this one and not quite as funny. Don't worry, dear Blogspot readers, you will always get the best of DJ... all the groan-y puns, snippy quips, thrills, chills and spills.

Thanks to everyone who made positive comments on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/Donnamarieski). I greatly appreciate all the support from everyone. I'm not surprised that so many of my high school classmates have similar problems. We're all at that tricky age: too old for Similac, too young for heart attack, know enough to not talk smack, just right for dental plaque (substitute achin' back if you prefer).

Today's Friday. I'm telling myself, to the tune of the great Blue Oyster Cult, "Don't fear the weekend, lots of veg and fruit, don't fear the weekend, walk a different route..."

Have a great weekend, everyone!

The beginning of the end of the end...

Welcome to my blog! I'm Donna Johnson and I'll be writing about my journey from overweight, middle-aged woman to slender, voluptuous goddess. "Thick And Tired Of It" will be an at least bi-weekly update on the thrills, spills and chills of my journey. "The beginning of the end of the end...," today's inaugural entry, (hopefully) refers to the gradual shrinkage of my posterior region.

If you subscribe to the idea that the human body is a temple, well, mine... let's just say the drywall is bulging out in several places and the seat cushions are way too soft, if you know what I mean. I was resigned to the idea that trimming my chocolate intake to one jumbo Hershey's bar per day was going to be the extent of my personal Jack LaLanne program.

I'd been thinking about starting a blog for some time, but no topic appealed to me from a writing standpoint until my employer, the University of Rochester, began their annual "Eat Well, Live Well!" competition. I'll admit I was not keen to join my office's team, but did so because I didn't want to be the only one not on it. Our individual goal? To walk 10,000 steps and consume 5 cups of fruits and vegetables per day. We were issued a logbook (to track # steps and cups per day), a pedometer, helpful hints, positive attitudes, team spirit, etc. And so it began.

Sunday, May 2: The competition commenceth. I awoke out of sorts due to adjustment issues with my CPAP unit (that's what happens when you get fat: you get to stuff silicone plugs into your nostrils and have air forced into your nose, trying all the while not to strangle yourself with a long line of tubing), but determined to get off on the right foot. Too bad I get out of bed on the left side. However, I managed to be on my way with only mild tripping, cursing, and otherwise grousing about mornings.

Sunday was a great day in terms of having fun and enjoying life. Sunday was a crappy day in terms of doing what was required for the competition. I somehow never managed to put on my pedometer, eat my planned salad, etc. Ok, fine. Start again tomorrow.

Monday, May 3: To say that the day started off on the wrong foot would be an understatement. First, my right shoe broke. I mean, broke. Disintegrated, while I was wearing it. Damn cheap shoes. Next, I dropped my pedometer in the toilet at the worst possible time (is there ever a good time to do this?). At this point I was entertaining sugar plum fairy dreams of quitting the team. While ruminating on the idea of quitting, I stubbed my toe. Now, if I hadn't been laughing hysterically at this point, I think I really would have quit. But it all seemed like an obvious attempt by my various body parts to derail my brain from its appointed rounds. So, I resolved to press on.

I logged 12,500 steps, most of them from walking into the village and back. Ok, ok, I only had 2 servings of F&V, but Rome wasn't built in a day. This glorious temple o' mine wasn't, either. It took many early morning breakfasts of brownies on the way to college classes to get into such delightful shape. And it would take many dismal dietetic days o' donutless delights to restore me to a divine diva denizen.

Tuesday, May 4: One of my coworkers mentioned the JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge as a possible venue for our team to "get going" (really, a venue for those who're more fit to nag, egg on, poke and prod the rest of us on to more exercise). I immediately flashed back to last year's Challenge, when I was on the Lenel Systems, International team.

Lenel had a team of about 45 staffers and my race time placed me around #44. Still, I did finish the 3.5 mile course in 1.07 hours. I think they ought to have erected a statue to me somewhere, particularly because I was completely soaked due to the torrential downpour throughout the entire race. But we had refreshments, cool t-shirts and camaraderie. I made a mental note at that time to start walking on a regular basis. Like the drying of my drenched shorts and socks, that thought gradually faded into oblivion.

Coming out of my reverie, I did some research and learned that the U of R traditionally has the largest team in Rochester's Challenge. With fond memories and renewed purpose, I registered for the event. I went home from work excited and determined to walk another 10,000 steps. I felt a teeny bit short - like 2,500 steps short - but remained undeterred. A flash of inspiration - is that a light bulb hovering over my head? - convinced me to write this blog.

Wednesday, May 5: I walked at lunch with the big boys (ok, my female supervisor and another person who is more fit than I). I ate a big salad. I mulled potential blog titles in my head. I knew that the blog was going to be about good health in general, so that when I finally achieve goddess status, I would still have something to write about. Tried and rejected several titles. Finally saw the phrase "sick and tired of it" somewhere and ... another light bulb moment! Wonder how much the electric bill is going to run me. Anyway, here I am, wrapping up this first installment of "Thick And Tired Of It." It's my hope that I can provide a lot of amusement and a little bit of inspiration, and in the process, turn this temple into a shrine. Wish me well.